The One that goes Fizzzz – by Peter Jordan


You always seemed more backstreet than boulevard,
and when he took you, you came so hard.
It felt so special and you knew it showed
but how far did that take you down that road?

Then you realised you were just one of the crowd,
anger and frustration left you screaming out loud,
though the truth is the truth and the truth is this;
you just didn’t have the one that goes fizzzzz!

So he just had to keep searching since that was his fate,
‘til the one that goes fizzzzz ended his lonely wait,
whilst you had to endure sympathetic friends
who told you that he dealt in beginnings, not ends.

But even you weren’t prepared for the night
when he turned out in the pub with horrendous sight;
she was ugly and smelly, a potato with blight
who gave the whole place a hell of a fright!
Course the ‘In crowd’ gathered round you to sympathize
despite the remarks about consumption of pies,
after all, what else could they do?
There must be something so wrong with you?

You saw their ignorance, and ignorance is bliss;
you couldn’t explain ‘bout the one that goes fizzzzz,
it might seem unfair or terribly wrong
when you’re out there looking for the cock that goes ‘Bong!’




Peter Jordan is Harrogate based. After 30 years in Local Government Administration he happily joined the Public Sector Scrapheap in the hope of doing something a little more useful. He is a Socialist/Liberal/Neo-Conservative/Catholic/Buddhist whose three word pen portrait comprises ‘Handsome, Intelligent, Deluded!’
 The one badge that he is genuinely proud of is that of Pisces (the fish) which is, of course, the artistic and sensitive sign of the zodiac, not least because he often sees his own expressionless grey/green eyes staring back at him from the fish counter at Sainsbury’s.

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